“The only homesick that I get is sick of being home”
(c) Handguns (“Anywhere but home” EP)
Truth is truth – whether you offend it by doubt or not. And why are you afraid to offend it anyway? It doesn’t care about you in the first place. When it wants to be there, it’s simply there, whether it hurts your feelings or not.
Don’t worship it, but use it. Use it for building your reality map. And always remember that the map is not the territory.
Beliefs come and go as we ourselves change. Even from biological perspective, we are essentially different from ourselves ten years ago. Do you know that every human goes through full cell regeneration cycle every 8 years?
Promising to live by one or another thought or opinion until the day I die has never been my idea. I’m a permanent stranger wandering aimlessly from one strange land to another, and I there hasn’t been anything more irrelevant to me as the idea of home. I don’t need any idea of mental “home” to resort to after failed experiments, either. I love all things strange, alien, or just paradoxical, even if it means I can’t be precise about what’s going on around me.
I don’t need precision and coherence at the price of accepting naive pseudo-answers provided by both vulgar materialists and idealists of all kinds. For me, a materialist who simply ignores everything that questions materialism is in no way better than a religious fanatic explaining everything with “because God decided so” phrase.
Things that can’t be explained, can go well without explanations. Things that don’t need explanations can go well without them, too. You don’t need to attach an external sense to something if it itself is saturated with it. Pay more attention to what’s going on around you, and you’ll quickly figure it out.